I Feel So Dead Inside

The smile on my face is so deceiving. It is there in place of the turmoil I feel deep within in me. The smile is there so that no one will know just how dead I feel inside. Especially, my family!

My life was turned upside down, inside out and scattered everywhere. I moved to SoCal to be with family and although, I love and appreciate them, I am not happy here. I do not feel the vibe at all.

Yes, it’s nice being just a few miles from the beaches but that’s played out for me. I don’t find it interesting enough to want to hang out there.

I’ve searched the Meetup groups to find things to do with people who have similar interests, but most of their hikes are too far or near the beaches.

But the desert!!! I love being in the desert. The desert🌵is calling me back! It speaks to me and is so inviting. There are so many places to hike, scramble, boulder, and within driving distance. There are a ton of groups with people who have the same interest. There are so many events planned by organizers with a lot of experience.

That’s my kind of people! That’s where I belong. That’s where my heart desires to be! That’s where I feel I will come back to life.


  1. Yaaassss! I love the desert – born and raised in AZ but unfortunately been in Michigan for far too long and see no end to that anytime soon. Im a sun baby though. Beautiful!

    Liked by 1 person

      • Thankfully I have friends and family who are constantly texting me pictures beacuse they all still live there and my phone’s weathter is still set for Lake Havasu City, Las Vegas, Mesquite NV and Grand Rapids MI lol so I keep myself updated. The wild fires in the gorge between BeverDam AZ and St.Gerorge Utah are crazy beautiful yet sad cuz obviously the destruction. If you havent been to BeaverDam, Its about an hour out of Mesquite (just a little shit hole) but at the end of the town by the bridge their is a springs call little Jamaica (when yu google it it says its been blown up) but people re-build it (its a natural waterfall but they put sand bags to create a little swim hole) <- doesnt sound like much but is absolutely beautiful! it every year. It is saeriously a little paradise. A small hike but nothing crazy- maybe 15 minutes a little down hill. Check it out if you get a chance ❤

        Liked by 1 person

    • whoops and I see and another error – BeaverDam and Mesqite is bout an hour outside of Las VegaS.. Not BeaverDam being an hour outside of Mesquite, they are only about 10 minutes away from eachother…


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